The Leadership Lies We Tell Ourselves
Albert BarraNovember 29, 2018 · 4 min read
We all like to think well of ourselves, but there are lies we can tell ourselves that harm us. Perhaps we fear being vulnerable, but we end up distancing ourselves from the truths we need, and the cost is high.
Do you recognise yourself in any of these falsehoods? If so, it may be time to have an honest conversation with yourself:
1. I am in control Control is an illusion. As a leader, you must allow yourself to let go of the illusion of control and let your leadership guide you. Focus on the things you can control and let the rest go.
2. I can do this on my own. No one accomplishes anything alone. No matter what you have achieved, you did not do it on your own. It takes a great team, a wonderful group of talented people, to make an impact. Ask yourself who has contributed to your success.
3. I do not have time. Time is precious for everyone, and perhaps especially for leaders, but there is always time in the day for what matters. Telling yourself you cannot fulfil a priority because of time is simply making excuses.
4. If I ignore it , it will go away. It is sad but true: there are times when we all still fall for this old lie. Most of the time, what we ignore grows and becomes even more burdensome. Whatever is happening, deal with it. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
5. I always know better than everyone else. Seriously, is that really true? Leadership is about inclusion and learning, not being right. Not all leaders know what is best or have all the answers; the best approach is to keep learning and growing. If you think you know it all, look around to see where you can ask more questions.
6. I am a good listener. There is a big difference between truly listening and patiently waiting for your turn to speak. One of the most genuine forms of respect is listening to what someone else has to say. And for leaders, the art of conversation lies in listening.
7. My ego does not get in the way. Nothing destroys leadership faster than ego. The next time you feel yours is getting out of control—which can happen to any of us from time to time—remember that nobility lies not in being superior to anyone else, but in growing beyond the person you once were.
8. Everyone does it. It is a leader's responsibility to know the difference between right and wrong, regardless of what others say or do. You can never be right while doing wrong, and you can never be wrong while doing right.
9. People do not need praise. We may like to think that people operate independently of our actions. But when people do not receive enough recognition, when they feel that no one cares, a great deal of their motivation disappears. What you praise increases; what you ignore becomes invisible and ineffective.
10. Emotion is weakness. Some leaders want to remain above emotion in order to appear strong. But sharing your weakness means making yourself vulnerable, and making yourself vulnerable means showing your strength. The best leaders touch hearts, and that truth always works.
11. Sometimes you have to cut corners to get ahead. The only way to lead is with integrity and high standards. Always put your best foot forward; life is too short to waste it living below your standards.
12. I am not here to make friends. The old school of leadership will tell you that leaders cannot be friends because it can lead to favouritism. But like friendship, true leadership involves selflessness and concern for the well-being of others, acting in their interests rather than for personal gain.
There will always be lies we tell ourselves, but self-awareness requires us to look beyond them to discover the truth about ourselves and those around us.
Honesty costs nothing, and lying can cost you everything . When you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past. When you lie, it becomes part of your future.
Leading from within: lies are often temporary solutions to a permanent problem. Listen to the lies you tell yourself and learn to tell yourself the truth.
Do you recognise yourself in any of these falsehoods? If so, it may be time to have an honest conversation with yourself:
1. I am in control Control is an illusion. As a leader, you must allow yourself to let go of the illusion of control and let your leadership guide you. Focus on the things you can control and let the rest go.
2. I can do this on my own. No one accomplishes anything alone. No matter what you have achieved, you did not do it on your own. It takes a great team, a wonderful group of talented people, to make an impact. Ask yourself who has contributed to your success.
3. I do not have time. Time is precious for everyone, and perhaps especially for leaders, but there is always time in the day for what matters. Telling yourself you cannot fulfil a priority because of time is simply making excuses.
4. If I ignore it , it will go away. It is sad but true: there are times when we all still fall for this old lie. Most of the time, what we ignore grows and becomes even more burdensome. Whatever is happening, deal with it. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
5. I always know better than everyone else. Seriously, is that really true? Leadership is about inclusion and learning, not being right. Not all leaders know what is best or have all the answers; the best approach is to keep learning and growing. If you think you know it all, look around to see where you can ask more questions.
6. I am a good listener. There is a big difference between truly listening and patiently waiting for your turn to speak. One of the most genuine forms of respect is listening to what someone else has to say. And for leaders, the art of conversation lies in listening.
7. My ego does not get in the way. Nothing destroys leadership faster than ego. The next time you feel yours is getting out of control—which can happen to any of us from time to time—remember that nobility lies not in being superior to anyone else, but in growing beyond the person you once were.
8. Everyone does it. It is a leader's responsibility to know the difference between right and wrong, regardless of what others say or do. You can never be right while doing wrong, and you can never be wrong while doing right.
9. People do not need praise. We may like to think that people operate independently of our actions. But when people do not receive enough recognition, when they feel that no one cares, a great deal of their motivation disappears. What you praise increases; what you ignore becomes invisible and ineffective.
10. Emotion is weakness. Some leaders want to remain above emotion in order to appear strong. But sharing your weakness means making yourself vulnerable, and making yourself vulnerable means showing your strength. The best leaders touch hearts, and that truth always works.
11. Sometimes you have to cut corners to get ahead. The only way to lead is with integrity and high standards. Always put your best foot forward; life is too short to waste it living below your standards.
12. I am not here to make friends. The old school of leadership will tell you that leaders cannot be friends because it can lead to favouritism. But like friendship, true leadership involves selflessness and concern for the well-being of others, acting in their interests rather than for personal gain.
There will always be lies we tell ourselves, but self-awareness requires us to look beyond them to discover the truth about ourselves and those around us.
Honesty costs nothing, and lying can cost you everything . When you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past. When you lie, it becomes part of your future.
Leading from within: lies are often temporary solutions to a permanent problem. Listen to the lies you tell yourself and learn to tell yourself the truth.